Charlatan - Maplewood Brewery & Distillery

    Step right up folks, step right up! Here we have a magnificent potion of potency - a wonderfully divine draught - a breathtakingly benevolent brew! Guaranteed to cure such maladies as a lack of lust for life, forlorn feelings of forgotteness, and of course, being burdened by boredom! One taste of this masterful brew and you too can find the very same bacchanalian bliss that I, myself, enjoy! Yes, you may be wondering why I would share such a secret with you rather than keep it all to myself. Well, you see, I have found that true joy only remains pleasant when you share it with others! That's why today, I offer you all the chance to purchase (why, only at cost for ingredients of course!) this magnificent medicine. Be sure to buy now! I would hate to have you miss out on this beguilingly beneficial bargain! Tonight only, for tomorrow I must be on my way to share this wonder with others!

    Charlatan is an American Pale Ale brewed by Maplewood Brewery & Distillery in Chicago, Illinois. Maplewood is another brewery that is literally within walking distance from my home, but for some reason it never occurred to me to review one of their beers! One thing I find very cool about Maplewood Brewery & Distillery is that they are very transparent as to what is in their beer. Every one of their cans shows the grain and hop bill for that specific beer. It is for this reason that I can confidently say that Charlatan is brewed with a mix of barley and wheat alongside Warrior, Simcoe, Centennial, and Citra hops.

    Charlatan pours a luminous, hazy golden orange. A healthy inch or two of off-white, fluffy foam tops the beer and laces nicely the entire way down. My first thought was that this beer looks a bit like orange juice!

But he seemed so trustworthy!

    Well, it looks like juice, and it smells an awful lot like tropical fruit juice! Strong, sweet scents of mango, passionfruit, orange, and grapefruit greet your nose as you bring the glass to your mouth. There is also an earthy, grassy smell in the beer - similar to the smell of hay. The smells together give the beer a sweet, juicy, and almost floral aroma.

    Maplewood's APA is somewhere between light and medium bodied, with a medium level of carbonation. The beer's mouthfeel is slightly oily, but finishes mostly dry. And yes, as was said, this is a pretty potent potion at 6.1% ABV.

    Well, it looked similar to fruit juice, it smelled similar to fruit juice, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it tastes a bit like fruit juice! Again, sweet flavors of tropical fruits, orange, pineapple, grapefruit, and passionfruit dominate the flavor. The grassy notes from the beer's aroma are also present in its flavor, as well as notes of subdued, resiny pine. Caramel and biscuit flavors from the malt balance the more acidic and bitter fruit flavors quite well.

    While I mentioned juice repeatedly, I should specify that Charlatan definitely still tastes like a beer. The fruity flavors remain hop-tasting, creating a very enjoyable APA. I really enjoyed these flavors but felt like it might be a little too far on the "tastes more like juice than beer" side. Nonetheless, Charlatan is very tasty, and would be quite nice on a hot day on a patio. Trust me, I tried it.

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Free Bird - Begyle Brewing Company

    It never fails, you're finally seeing your favorite band live for the first time. You've wanted to see them for years, but for some reason they never toured close enough for you to be able to attend. Finally, the planets aligned, and you got tickets to a show near you. The band sounds amazing, and the crowd is loving it. As one song finishes, the crowd begins cheering loudly. As the cheers fade into the general din of conversation and the band prepares their next song you hear it - some jerk in the front screaming "FREEBIRD!!!" The band takes notice and seems to say with their expressions "yeah, real funny guy, we've never heard that one before." And just like that, the band's mood turns from happy to be visiting your city to annoyed that they're playing for a group of idiots that don't appreciate their music. The band's energy changes from excitation to indignation. Your experience has been ruined by that one guy. Thanks a lot guy.

    Free Bird is an American Pale Ale brewed by Begyle Brewing Company in Chicago, Illinois. The can touts Free Bird's sessionable alcohol content, and also points out that the beer was named for the use of falconer's flight hops in it's brewing.

    Begyle's APA pours a slightly hazy, dark orange color with a finger of head made up of compact bubbles on top. The head fades a bit, but sticks around much longer than I would have expected. As the beer is enjoyed, the bubbles leave a thick, almost soapy, lacing down the glass.

"Play me!!"

    The beer's aroma includes notes of citrus fruits such as orange and lemon. Earthy smells of pine and dry grass are subtly present in the beer's aroma as well. There is a surprisingly strong scent of bready malts to the ale - making me wonder if this brew is going to be overly sweet. Only one way to find out!

    Free Bird is medium bodied with a similar level of carbonation. The body and carbonation together balance the beer's oily and slightly sticky mouthfeel with a certain crispness that keeps things refreshing rather than mouth-coating. I'm not really sure that I agree with Begyle's claim that the beer is sessionable. It's alcohol content of 5.6% ABV seems stronger than the 4% ABV or so I would expect from a session ale. While the beer definitely retains a certain crispness, I still find that it ends a bit wetter than I would want from a session ale as well.

    Free Bird tastes a more bitter than I was expecting after smelling such a strong malt presence in the beer's aroma. There are strong notes of lemon and orange in the ale's flavor, as well as a prominent grapefruit-like bitterness. Flavors of pine sap and hay round out the fruity flavors to give the beer a bit of a spicy, earthy character. While I was afraid that the beer would be too sweet, I'm actually surprised to find that the malt balances well with the beer's bitterness. I actually almost feel like the beer could use a bit more sweetness to tone down its bitterness. Even after I swallow the beer, my mouth remains tasting bitter for a while - again, not what I'd want in a session ale.

    While Free Bird being shouted at a concert might make things worse, I can safely say a Free Bird being opened would make things better. While the beer feels quite off from what I'd expect of a sessionable Pale Ale (in fact, it seems a bit more like an IPA), I'm pretty happy with it. I'd never heard of falconer's flight hops before picking up this beer, but I'm interested to see how it is used in the future. It seems like the hops provide quite a bitter kick alongside some earthy and citrus tones, so it could be interesting to mix with other hops in future brews!

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Porkslap Pale Ale - Butternuts Beer & Ale

    Porkslap Pale Ale is an American Pale Ale brewed by Butternuts Beer & Ale which is located in Garrattsville, New York. I think it's obvious why this beer was chosen to review.

    Porkslap pours a slightly hazy, golden-amber. The beer has an unfiltered look to it, with small particles floating around inside the beer. A small head forms, but quickly dissipates. Lots of bubbles bounce around the inside of the glass after pouring.

    The Pale Ale smells very malty with little hops aroma. The malt smells remind me of biscuits with honey on them. The slight hops scent is that of piney resin.

     Porkslap is on the low end of medium-bodied, and has a nice fizz to it. The beer finishes surprisingly dry. Porkslap has an alcohol content of 4.3% ABV.

Amulets and Ale does not condone the slapping of innocent
pigs, no matter how much you've had to drink.

    Butternut's Pale Ale is pretty mild in its flavor. Only the slightest piney hops can be tasted in the front, with strong and sweet malts coming in soon after. The malts have a nice honey flavor to them, as well as a biscuity, breadiness. I don't know if it's the pork imagery or what, but this beer tastes a bit like breakfast to me. The beer has a strange metallic aftertaste though, which is unpleasant and leaves my mouth dry and almost thirsty feeling.

    I don't even want to venture into the territory of what could have made Butternut call this beer "Porkslap". All I can assume is that it involved the drunken abuse of either some farm animals, or a portly uncle. Don't ask.

    Porkslap is extremely sweet for a Pale Ale, and exhibits none of the hop character one would expect from the style. I feel as though the beer would be more at home in the Amber Ale genre. The beer is borderline too sweet for me, though people who aren't too keen on the hoppier Pale Ales might enjoy the reprieve from hops. The metallic flavor that left my mouth feeling strange was really my biggest complaint with the beer though. I don't know if it is the packaging, or the beer itself that causes the sensation, but it's quite unpleasant.

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Sierra Nevada Pale Ale - Sierra Nevada Brewing Co.

    Sierra Nevada Pale Ale is an American Pale Ale brewed by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. in Chico, California. Sierra Nevada ranks up there with Colorado's New Belgium Brewing as a company that worked hard to make craft ales more popular by distributing their product all over the country. Now days I think of Sierra Nevada as a "Macro micro-brewery", as they produce a huge amount of beer and distribute far and wide.

    The Pale Ale pours a hazy, pale orange with a thick, off-white head. The head slowly subsides into a hearty foam layer on the beer's surface and a thick ring around the inside of the glass that leaves lacing on the glass for the entire time the beer is enjoyed.

    The beer has a light, hops scent to it, with citrus and pine scents being the main players. The hops aromas are lighter than you would find in an IPA. There is also a noticeable caramel sweetness from the malts in the beer's aroma.

    Sierra Nevada's Pale Ale is medium bodied with a medium level of carbonation. The body seems to falter towards the end, however, and the beer finishes somewhat watery. The Pale Ale has an alcohol content of 5.36% ABV.

    The ale has a nice, light hops flavor. Citrus and piney, resinous bitter flavors flow across the tongue, followed by a malty sweetness. The flavor dissipates quickly as the body becomes more watery towards the end. The beer leaves the mouth dry and with only a slight bitterness lingering.

    I have a funny connection with Sierra Nevada Pale Ale that is in no way related to the beer's flavor or quality. Around a year ago, my wife went on a spree of watching the many hoarding reality TV shows. As I have a major beer obsession, I would often take note of what beers these hoarders would have around. Eventually, I noticed a trend. An overwhelmingly large number of hoarders had Sierra Nevada Pale Ale boxes, bottles, and cans strewn throughout their homes. This trend continued through a surprising number of episodes of the different shows.

A quick Google search brought up these examples. Click image to enlarge if you don't believe me!

     I will reiterate that this trend has absolutely nothing to do with the taste or quality of the beer. I have yet to launch a scientific inquiry into what exactly makes hoarders enjoy Sierra Nevada Pale Ale so much, but I find the ale to be a very drinkable, mild Pale Ale. This would be a great jumping on point if you are interested in hops flavors without wanting to risk the sometimes cloying bitterness of IPAs. Also, if you're a hoarder, it's time that you get with the program!

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Silverback Pale Ale - Wynkoop Brewing Company

    Silverback is an American Pale Ale brewed by Wynkoop Brewing Company in Denver, Colorado. It's important to mention that this release actually benefits the Mountain Gorilla Conservation Fund. 
With each purchase of this beer, money is donated to help save mountain gorillas.

    Silverback pours a hazy, light orange. The ale has a massive head with great retention that would make even gorillas proud. Thick lacing stays on the glass as the beer goes down.

    The Pale Ale smells of piney hops with a slight bit of floral hops scent as well. There is a slight spiciness to the ale's scent as well, likely from the grains of paradise used in brewing and mentioned by the label. A light, yeasty scent is also present.

    Silverback is medium bodied with a high level of carbonation. A very high level of carbonation. In fact, it feels like the beer turns to foam as soon as it enters my mouth, making swallowing difficult-- not pleasant. The Pale Ale has an alcohol content of 5.5% ABV. 

"Helping" Mountain Gorillas

    Silverback's flavor is very hops forward. Resinous, piney hops flavors attack the palette at first, followed by the interesting spiciness and mild, sweet malts. The ale finishes quite dry, but leaves a bitter aftertaste in your mouth. The ale's bitterness is too high for my liking, with such a small amount of malt sweetness to balance it out.

    On one hand, I think it's pretty cool that money is donated to a wildlife charity with every purchase of this beer. On the other hand, I'm almost insulted on the gorillas' behalf that Wynkoop didn't make a better tasting beer that would sell better than this one. If I were a gorilla, I would drink something else first, then drink a bunch of Silverback Pale Ales and throw the cans at the brewery windows. Sure they're not heavy enough to break the window, but they'll make a lot of noise, oh yeah, AND THERE ARE FREAKING GORILLAS OUTSIDE THEIR WINDOW! That should be more than enough of a protest.

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Helios Pale Ale - Upland Brewing Company

    Helios Pale Ale is an American Pale Ale brewed by Bloomington, Indiana's own Upland Brewing Company.

    Helios pours a hazy straw color with a small, off-white head with decent retention. The beer appears quite active with hundreds of bubbles that stay around for a good, long time.

    The ale has a nice, floral hops aroma with a little bit of the sweet, bready malts coming through.

    The Pale Ale has a medium-to-light mouthfeel with a moderate level of carbonation. It goes down very easily and would be quite refreshing on a hot day. Helios has a light alcohol content at 4.9% ABV.

    Helios's flavor is nice and summery with floral hops flavors and a slight bitterness. The malts keep this bitterness from becoming unpleasant with their toasted-bread like flavor and sweetness. When compared with the ale's scent, the flavors seem to be lighter than you would have expected. This almost watered-down character of the flavor really makes me wish the beer tasted as strongly as it smells, especially since the aroma has such nice floral notes.

Forward! We must bring light beer to the darkness!

    Helios was the personification of the sun in ancient Greek mythology. He would ride his fiery chariot across the sky, pushing back darkness as he went. The tagline Deus Sol Invictus (basically, "Sun God Undefeated") seems to suggest that Helios was quite strong. If the sun god was as weak as this beer's flavor however, I'm glad that he only had to fight darkness. I mean, how hard is it to chase away darkness if you're made of pure light? Basically you would just walk up to the darkness and it would go away. A child with a flashlight could do just as good of a job. Maybe Helios was undefeated because he never fought anything that actually posed a challenge?

    Even though I'm disappointed in Helios's lighter-than-it-should-be flavor, I still think that it would be a refreshing drink if you were sitting outside on a hot day. I could see the ale being a great "lawnmower beer", but it's not something I would choose to drink otherwise. Maybe Upland should have chosen a less wimpy figure from mythology (like Hercules perhaps?) for their beer...

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Hopper Pale Ale - Madison River Brewing Company

    Hopper Pale Ale is an American Pale Ale brewed by the Madison River Brewing Company which is located in Belgrade, Montana. I received this beer a while back in a shipment from my craft brew club.

    The Pale Ale pours a pale amber color, suggesting a maltier brew than other Pale Ales. There is very little head on the beer, making me think that this one is going to be extremely lightly carbonated. The tiny head does still leave a decent bit of lacing down the glass.

    Hopper's aroma is nicely hoppy with light, sweet malt undertones. The scent of citrus fruits is the predominate hops aroma, with a bit of a floweriness as well.

    The beer is medium bodied, though there is a very light level of carbonation. I'm disappointed in the lack of bubbles to the beer. I would like more effervescence to the brew so that the floweriness of the hops would be carried by the bubbles. The Pale Ale has an alcohol content of 6% ABV.

The rare, and terrifying, Beer-Hopper.

    Hopper Pale Ale's flavor is just to the hoppy side of balanced. Citrus and flowery hops add just a slight bit of bite to the sweet, caramel malts. There is a strong sweetness left in the mouth as an aftertaste.

    Regardless of what Madison River Brewing Company says the beer is named after, I'm convinced that it is named after the rare Beer-Hopper, of the family Beerus Hopidaeus. Little known throughout the world, the Beer-Hopper is a giant insect found only in the forests surrounding breweries powered by nuclear reactors. Feeding mainly on small rodents, the Beer-Hopper is carnivorous, and has been known to lure in unsuspecting humans (unsurprisingly, most were found to have been intoxicated after a day of brewery tours) by wrapping their legs up and under their hind-end, taking on the visage of a cool, refreshing glass of beer. Once the human prey has wrapped his or her hand around the glass, the Beer-Hopper uses its sharp, pointy teeth to deliver a lethal dose of ethanol before rubbing its legs together and creating a chirping sound to let other Hoppers in the area know that food is available (this sound has become known as the "Dinner Bell of Death" to Beer-Hopper aficionados).

    Overall, Hopper Pale Ale is much sweeter than I would like for a Pale Ale. The hops flavors are good, just not as prominently displayed as I would like. I would recommend this beer to people who would like to get into Pale Ales as a style, yet aren't very keen on strong hops flavors yet. If you're a fan of Pale Ales on the other hand, I would look elsewhere for a great one.

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Snake River Pale Ale - Snake River Brewing Company

    Snake River Pale Ale is an American Pale Ale created by the Snake River Brewing Company which is located in Jackson, Wyoming.

    The beer lives up to its name by pouring a pale yellow color with around a finger of head. Some slight lacing can be seen on the glass.

    The Pale Ale smells of citrus hops with a slight aroma of caramel malts. The hops scents are more floral than piney in this beer.

    Snake River Pale Ale is medium bodied with a moderate level of carbonation. This beer is an example of where a beer's body and carbonation can work together to make the mouthfeel seem much thicker than the beer would alone. There is absolutely no alcohol character to the 5.2% ABV beer.

    As opposed to the usual hops-forward flavors of other Pale Ales, Snake River's Pale Ale first tastes like light caramel malts. This sweetness is followed up by a nice citrus hops profile which comes off as more flowery than bitter. Neither the sweetness, nor the bitterness is out of balance in this ale.

I bet snakes are angry drunks.

    I have to admit that when it comes to phobias, snakes are my main terror. I can't even imagine what Snake River must be like. I'm going to just hope that it got its name from it's windy nature rather than that it is full of snakes. My mind jumps right to a river which is made up of writhing, slithering snakes instead of water. You would fall into it and be covered by their long, squirming bodies. At that point, being bitten by a poisonous snake would be a blessing to me.

    Luckily, this beer is nowhere near as terrifying to me as a river made out of snakes. This Pale Ale is actually very well balanced and manages to bring out the flowery nature of hops rather than just bringing the bitter, pineyness that so many beers can't get past. I would say that Snake River's Pale Ale is a good Pale Ale, but it really doesn't do anything for me past that. Overall I feel that it is solely an average Pale Ale.

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Old Court Ale - 16 Mile Brewing Company

    Old Court Ale is an American Pale Ale created by 16 Mile Brewing company which is located in Georgetown, Delaware. According to the bottle, this APA is named after the old courthouse of Sussex County. While the brewery says nothing about it, the beer makes my mind wander to thoughts of colonial Americans brewing early forms of American craft beer. Maybe 16 Mile was looking to create a beer similar to that which our country's founders enjoyed.

    Old Court ale pours a copper color with a tiny head which quickly dissipates and leaves no trace on the glass.

    There is hardly any smell at all to the ale. There is a bit of sweet caramel and roasted malt scent, but not much at all. There is also what seems to be a somewhat...rotten...smell to the ale which is not pleasant and would completely turn me off from this ale if it were any stronger.

    The APA is medium bodied with a low carbonation level. The beer feels more creamy than watery, surprisingly. The ale has an alcohol content of 6.1% ABV.

How many people have sat in that
court room wishing that they had one of these?

 Old Court Ale's flavors are all very light. The ale's first noticeable flavors are sweet, grainy malt flavors. The ale then shows its bitterness with a bit of fruity hops flavor. Once the bitterness mellows out, there is an almost nutty, roasted flavor to the beer which is quite nice. There is no hint of rottenness in the ale's flavor, unlike the smell, for which I am very thankful.

    If you read my blog occasionally, you know that I have a penchant for making up stories, or thinking too far into beer's names. Old Court Ale has once again started up my mind in directions that its creators' never intended. Imagine for a moment, if you will, the Sussex County court house, and everyone inside that court room enjoying a pint as they suffer through the proceedings. Suddenly, you have witnesses and the accused who are more than willing to tell you the truth, as well as every single thing about their life as they sink into their glass. Granted, it would be poor form to allow sentencing of criminals while under the influence, but you never know what punishments might be handed out. I can bet that they would be amusing, such as "eat this bug!" or "do a back flip off of the stand!"

    Silliness aside, Old Court Ale is a very lightly flavored American Pale Ale which focuses more on roasted malt flavors than hops. The ale is pretty easy drinking but doesn't strike me as anything special.

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Smitten Golden Rye Ale - Bell's Brewery, Inc.

    Smitten Golden Rye Ale is a take on the American Pale Ale created by Bell's Brewery, Inc which is located in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

    The Pale Ale pours a hazy golden color with a decent amount of sediment floating throughout the glass. A nice inch or so of foamy head tops the beer and leaves a decent amount of lacing on the glass as it fades.

    The ale has a very malty smell with some slight spicy notes from the rye. A strong, flowery hops smell is present at pouring, but quickly gives way to the earthier malt scents.

     Smitten is medium-light bodied with a crisp amount of carbonation which keeps the beer tasting fresh. Luckily the sediment is not noticeable.

Will you be smitten with Smitten?

    The APA is considerably less hoppy than the scent might lead one to believe. While there is definitely a presence of citrusy hops and their resiny oils, the malts are definitely more noticeable in the ale's flavor. The earthiness of the malts together with the light hops flavor creates an almost lemon-grass like flavor which is quite refreshing. A very slight rye spiciness can be tasted, though just barely. The malts have an almost bready quality to them which help to balance out the hops and rye flavors. The ale leaves a slight oily bitterness in the mouth which is somewhat unpleasant. Even with the higher alcohol content of 6% ABV, Smitten presents no alcohol flavor nor warmth.

    Smitten Golden Rye Ale definitely has a floweriness about it. From the "he loves me, he loves me not" label to the hoppy aroma released by popping open the bottle. Personally, when it comes to gifts, I'd much rather receive a beer bouquet than flowers. I wouldn't recommend playing the loves me, loves me not game with a six-pack though or it might end up something like "she lovvesh meh naht."

    Overall Smitten Golden Rye Ale is a very decent tasting beer. The rye flavors are a bit milder than I would expect with rye in the name of the ale, but the overall earthiness and hops balance is quite nice in the ale. The aftertaste and oily mouthfeel can be somewhat off putting, but this APA is definitely a refreshing choice.

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Zombie Dust - Three Floyds Brewing Co.

    The American Pale Ale, Zombie Dust, by Three Floyds Brewing Co., located in Munster, Indiana, has experienced a huge rise in popularity in the past year or two. The beer has received extremely high ratings on many beer websites and has won many prestigious awards in the beer makers contest circuit. In addition to these rewards, Zombie Dust holds the coveted position of being my favorite beer that I have ever tried.

    Zombie Dust pours a light, hazy amber with a small off-white head. The beer's scent is amazing. As soon as the lid is popped open, the smell of flowery hops and grapefruit peel surround you. Pouring the beer into a glass just allows more of this seductive scent to waft to your nose. The light scent of sugar and fruits can be perceived once the initial hop bouquet fades. There is also an herbal quality to the smell though I can't place it specifically.

The beer is light bodied with a medium level of carbonation. The bubbles help to foam the beer onto the pallet making the scent and taste into one experience. At 6.4% ABV, the alcohol content is just slightly higher than a typical pale ale.

    Zombie Dust tastes much as it smells. There is an extremely prevalent flavor of citrus thanks to the Citra hops used in the brew by Three Floyds. The main citrus flavor is grapefruit with a bit of a tangerine flavor as well. All the hops in the beer give it a nice bitterness that is balanced by a strong malt backing, keeping the bitterness from becoming overwhelming. In addition to the citrus, mango can be tasted in the brew as well.

    I first tried Zombie Dust before I was a major beer lover. Even then, in my unfamiliarity with beer, I could tell that this beer was a great one. In fact, I would go so far as to say that this beer is responsible for my growing interest in beer tasting and, as such, holds a special place in my beer heart.

    Overall, Zombie Dust makes for a great beer drinking experience. The large amount of hops in the brew might turn off newer beer drinkers due to their bitterness, but it is definitely worth trying. If you ever get a chance to try Zombie Dust I highly recommend it!

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